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The Works of Thomas Hood

A PUBLIC DINNER.
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“i arn’t ashamed to say i sit and veep

to think of seven year of keepin sheep,

the spooniest beasts in nater, all to sticks,

and not a votch to take for all their ticks!

“if i’d fore-seed how transports would turn out

to only baa! and botanize about,

i’d quite as leaf have had the t’other pull,

and come to cotton as to all this vool!

“von only happy moment i have had

since here i come to be a farmer’s cad,

and then i cotch’d a vild beast in a snooze,

and pick’d her pouch of three young kangaroos!

“vot chance have i to go to race or mill?

or show a sneaking kindness for a till;

and as for vashings, on a hedge to dry,

i’d put the natives’ linen in my eye!

[pg 467]

“if this whole lot of mutton i could scrag,

and find a fence to turn it into swag,

i’d give it all in lonnon streets to stand,

and if i had my pick, i’d say the strand!

“but ven i goes, as maybe vonce i shall,

to my old crib to meet with jack, and sal,

i’ve been so gallows honest in this place,

i shan’t not like to show my sheepish face.

“it’s wery hard for nothing but a box

of irish blackguard to be keepin’ flocks,

’mong naked blacks, sich savages to hus,

they’ve nayther got a pocket nor a pus.

“but folks may tell their troubles till they’re sick

to dumb brute beasts,—and so i’ll cut my stick!

and vot’s the use a feller’s eyes to pipe

vere von can’t borrow any gemman’s vipe?”

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